Sunday, February 26, 2012

"YES!" to the Mother Of the Bride Dress!


When I helped my daughter say "Yes!" to her wedding dress last August, that she purchased for her upcoming spring 2012 wedding (you can read that on this post), the whole process was relatively easy. She happily found the dress of her dreams in one afternoon. Therefore I wasn't too worried at the time about finding my dress as the future Mother of the Bride.  I wanted to diet and exercise first, to drop a couple dress sizes if possible.  I felt like I had plenty of time to get that accomplished and began going to the gym.  Unfortunately, because of many unforseen events, I didn't lose as much weight I had hoped for.  I knew, however, I could no longer delay finding a dress as the wedding is now just a few months away.

My son's wedding  in 2004

I was still hopeful that the process would be painless.  I was able to find a dress for my son's wedding with relative ease, in a local dress shop eight years ago.  Of course, it helped that I was younger and thinner in 2004. I loved the Jasmine/Jade brand dress I wore, as it fit so perfectly right off the rack.  I didn't need one alteration!  Unfortunately, the dress shop I bought this dress from was no longer open, so I knew I would have to look elsewhere this time.

I was very excited to now be the Mother of the Bride, and wanted a very special dress. A quick Google search on the internet for "Mother of the Bride dresses, New York City," bought a plethora of links to formal dress web sites, both in online stores and "brick and motar" stores. I began a online Pinterest  "Mother of the Bride Dresses folder -- click here to see that--so I could save all my possible choices.  All the dresses I have pictured on this post can be found with their web source link if you go to my Pinterest folder and click on the dress and then click on it again when it opens to a larger photo.

I wore a navy blue dress for my son's wedding, so I thought a dress in a shade of pink would nice for my daughter's wedding.  I liked the scarlet pink color of the dress on the left in the photo collage above, but I didn't care for the fact it was sleeveless, with a bolero style jacket. I liked the middle dress color quite a bit, and at first glance I thought it had three quarter length sleeves, which was what I wanted. Then I remembered that the bridesmaids would be wearing purple, and this color was too close a match. Plus, on closer examination it didn't have sleeves, but another bolero jacket look. Perhaps a similar, but slightly darker shade of raspberry pink would be nice, like the dress on the right? I wasn't so sure such a form fitting dress would look attractive on my plus size figure.


I decided to refine my search and look for "plus size Mother of the Bride dresses." The plus size dress on the left in the collage above was nice, but I didn't want the color navy again, and this dress was only available in that shade.  Another search, this time for "MOB plus size dresses with three quarter length sleeves," and I found a few dresses such as the one above on the right.  Ah, this style is closer to what I had in mind. Dress selection can be limited for "in stock" dresses both online and in stores, so I looked into how I could order a dress I liked in another color. Oh, oh! It seems many dress designers require 12 -14  weeks, or more, to make a special order unless a "rush" cut is done for $50 to $100 more than the price of the dress!  Even with a rush cut it would make delivery of the dress very close to my daughter's wedding date.  I started to get nervous!

Since my Mother of the Groom dress was a Jasmine/Jade design dress, I decided to concentrate on their web site. I loved the teal color of the dress in the middle, but again, it had a bolero jacket.  I just don't think a bolero style jacket is complimentary to a plus size woman.  The jacket is meant to be removed after the wedding ceremony, but I would want to keep it on all evening to hide my less than toned arms, and it doesn't look very comfortable to me. I liked the style of the other Jade dresses in the collage above that short sleeves, but I knew I'd have to try them on to see how they would look on me.

I really, really, liked this La Belle design dress! The style and sleeves were what I thought I wanted. I began to call stores to see if they had this dress and the Jade dresses I liked in stock so I could try them on, as I hesitated to buy anything online without seeing how it looked on me.  What I found was that most dress shop owners do not reveal what dresses they have in their stock, but they all insisted they could help me find the dress of my dreams if I came in.

So I spent rhe week visiting stores where I squeezed and cajoled my figure into too small or too large dresses, with price tags that were double or triple for the price of the same dress online! I can understand that stores have high rent and employees salaries to pay, but it was hard for me to understand why their prices were so very inflated.  If you saw a dress priced at $400 online, would you feel happy paying over $1,000 for the exact same dress in a store?  One "plus size only" dress shop actually had all the dress designer labels replaced with her own labels, and all her dresses seemed to have been ordered very long, as almost all the dresses I tried on in her store dragged on the ground. I felt suspicious that this was her way to earn extra money on alterations. It seemed like they had quite a few deceptive practice to me, and I left that store quickly.

One fact I learned was that many formal dress stores only carry a limited selection of a brand's dresses, so finding a design online does not mean the store will have it available to try on. If you really like many of the dresses of one designer it pays to look for one of their "trunk shows" events, held at different shops at different times of the year, as that is the only way to have an opportunity to try on all the current seasons dresses of that designer.

The entire process of finding a dress was harder than I thought it was going to be, and I was spending quite a bit of time searching online and in stores.  I finally found a beautiful dress, and it surprised me!  It was different from all the dresses I looked at online.  I actually picked it to try on because I liked its teal color very much. Sometimes finding the right dress is pure serendipity!

Here is a sneak peek....


It's a Jasmine/Jade brand dress, in a beautiful teal color.  I even found my shoes and clutch bag in the same store.   I am so relieved to have finally said "Yes" to the dress!



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73 comments:

Pondside said...

Wow - Pat, I am SO happy for you. I still don't have a dress and for all the reasons you gave, I am beginning to worry. I'm short, which makes it hard to find something that doesn't require alterations from the shoulders on down. I'm going right over to your pinterest collection to see what footwork you've done for me!

Buttercup said...

The color is beautiful and it should look great on you. Can't wait to see the entire dress. I am not a fan of dress shopping, but it looks like you were very successful.

Jojo said...

Congratulations! For such and important event, there is nothing but stress about the dress! Love the color and the accessories to.

podso said...

Congratulations are in order for this accomplishment. It's one of my favorite colors! And looks lavish and wonderful and the shoes look perfect with it. I'm sure it's a great relief to have this settled...and in such a lovely fashion!

Ginny said...

Oh no, you're just giving us a little tease!!!!! You looked so beautiful in the dress at your son's wedding, but I may like this color even more. I can't WAIT to see the whole thing, and you in it!! I never thought about clothes too long to make money from alterations! Most things I try on are like they were made for an Amazon!

From the Kitchen said...

Oh what a relief--and to have found the dress in such a beautiful color. I'm excited for the big reveal!! Aren't weddings for our children such lovely events?

Best,
Bonnie

Barbara F. said...

The color is gorgeous, Pat, and will complement your hair color so well. I love the silver accessories. When I lived in Brooklyn I would always go to Lestan's, Rose Salkind, the one on Kings Highway, can't remember the name (Harper's?). Used to love Cooperman's and Wolf's on Avenue U, sigh, those were the days my friend......:) xo

Frog Hollow Farm Girl said...

Sending a sweet hello from Frog Hollow Farm in NW NJ! I really enjoyed reading your post - I have such a hard time finding any dress that fits, short or long. Your final selection is stunning! Great job! Ciao, Bella! xxoo

LR @ Magnificent or Egregious said...

What a great colour, you will look fantastic in that dress! Very flattering with your skin tone and hair colour. I am certain some shops purposely order in longer or bigger sizes so they make more $$$$ for alterations and whatnot....this happened to me when I was in my cousin's wedding party a few years ago, we had to order our dresses and when it came, it was 4 sizes too BIG! I had allowed some leeway on the sizing, but not that much!! I ended up getting it altered by a different seamstress and not the one the bridal shop "recommended". Thankfully I bought my wedding dress off the rack when I got married and it only needed minimal alterations.

lisa said...

I can't wait to see how beautiful you are going to look on my big day! No matter what size you are, you are one of the most beautiful women I know - never forget that. I love you Mom <3

Rajesh said...

Congratulations on upcoming event. The process of finding the right attire is really interesting.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Love that teal color, Pat. Can't wait to see the whole thing --with you wearing it.... I'm sure it is gorgeous. Glad you had such good luck finding what you want... That is awesome.
Hugs,
Betsy

Kathleen said...

Phew! So glad you found what you liked! I am sure you will look lovely! Beautiful color! I bet you are relieved, itis so close.

Sue said...

Clothes shopping is such an ordeal and I'm so glad that you finally found something that you love, Pat. If I was still svelte, it would be easier, I'm sure, but Mother Nature played her tricks on me and the days of skinny mini are long past! lol I need to be shopping for a dress for a May wedding and I am NOT looking forward to it.

Debbiedoo's said...

Well that is wonderful Pat. My sis is getting married in August. I am going for my dress soon. It took my sis days and weeks and months to finally find her dream dress. My Mom bought one off ebay, and of course is now deciding if that is the right one LOL...It is a process for sure.

The Gathering Place said...

Yeah! I love the color and how nice for you to have all the other details in the same store. I hate shopping since I can never find what I like in my size. I'm excited for you!

Sarah said...

Pat, love the color of your dress and know that you are going to be gorgeous. What an ordeal trying to find a dress. I would have been so frustrated. Glad you found this one. It looks like an elegant dress. I'm so excited for you. I know this is a special time! ~ Sarah

Theanne said...

WOW Pat, love the teal...love the whole ensemble! you're going to be the most beautiful MOB ever! exciting!

Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

Fabulous! That color is perfect for you.
We can't wait for the photos of the special day!

diane b said...

That sure was an ordeal to find the right dress. You were very astute to realise one store was trying to rip you off. I am happy you found the right one in the end. It is a magic colour.

Lorrie said...

Finding your MOB dress is a huge relief. The glimpses you've shown are intriguing, and you will look beautiful. I'm looking forward to seeing photos of the day.

Ciao Chow Linda said...

Fascinating process you went through Pat. Now I know how to research when (and if) I'm in your situation. i love the sneak preview color and details. you're going to look gorgeous in that dress, just as you did for your son's wedding.

Riet said...

Wow. I love the fabric and the color and I am sure the rest of the gown is beautiful too Pat. I love it that you all dress up for the event. You also looked beautiful in that gorgeous dress you wore on your sons wedding.In this country we don't dress up that much. The bride of course is beautiful but the two mothers usualy wear a short dress or a litlle silk suit and a hat. Les worries but also less fun because I love dressing up for the occasion. I love all those evening dresses you show here and it fun to read that there are even special shops for mothers of the bride. I would love to look around there.
Have a nice week.

eileeninmd said...

It looks like you found the perfect dress. I love the colors Teal too. Just beautiful, the shoes and purse are pretty too. Can't wait to see it all on you now. So exciting! Pat, Have a great week!

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Congrats on finding the dress! Gorgeous fabric and a beautiful color:@)

Sam @ My Carolina Kitchen said...

Wow, so glad you've found a dress that's perfect Pat. I love the color you've chosen. It will look marvelous with your hair.

Never having children, I haven't thought of how difficult it must be to chose the mother of the bride dress. After reading this, I hope our granddaughter doesn't have a big wedding...
Sam

Paula's Postings said...

What a fantastic colour and I love the shoes and bag. I hope we see a photograph of you wearing the dress.

Old Kitty said...

Wow! What a way to find that perfect dress!! And wasn't it all worth it!??! The tantalizing teaser pics of your dress and clutch and shoes are amazing - oh it's a gorgeous colour and fabric too! What a shame the actual shopping experience of going to an actual shop was a bit fraught! Nevermind! Here is your beautiful dress! You'll be the Belle of the Ball (you and your daughter!!)! Yay!!

Take care
x

Edie Marie's Attic said...

What a gorgeous color Pat! And the shoes will look perfect with it. I'm so excited for you... another wedding... how wonderful! Will it be a NYC wedding? I can hardly wait to see you in that dress, I know you will look stunning!

Big hugs, Sherry

From Beyond My Kitchen Window said...

The color is stunning. I have always been partial to silver accessories. Looking forward to photos from the big day.

Lorrie said...

Beautiful color Pat! I'm so glad you found a dress you love--plus the shoes and purse. It's a great feeling to have that choice made.

GrandmaK said...

Wow! you certainly have me on the edge of my seat. I'm looking forward to seeing the dress. It is a lovely color! Have a grand week! Cathy

Tracy said...

Woo-hoo...teal & silver... what a beautiful combo! I love that teal satin, Pat--it's just gorgeous.Glad you found something you really like and will enjoy wear for a long day of festivity. So many choices, it can be bewildering! Your navy dress for your son's wedding was lovely too. Can't wait to see more... Not long now until the big day for your daughter. So exciting! :o) Happy Days ((HUGS))

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

love. love. love that color, Pat!! I can tell you are going to be just beautiful in it and I am looking forward to seeing the photos!! Yea!! (beach mother of the groom is MUCH easier! LOL) I DO remember the MOB search! LOL! Glad you have said YES. blessings ~ Tanna

Sheila said...

This sneak peek at your mother of the bride dress is wonderful. This beautiful colour will be a wonderful compliment to your beautiful hair! My daughter has been looking for a bridesmaid dress and had the same thing to say about ordering in advance and the cost of rush orders. She says it's unavoidable if any dresses are ordered too late. Glad to hear you found your dream dress!

Vee said...

Phew! I can only imagine the stress. Perhaps getting rid of the first idea about pink or red helped. You'd be better served to have shopped outside of NYC from the sounds of things. So glad that you found "the dress"! Love the one that you wore to your son's wedding. You look fabulous in it.

Carol said...

I'm so glad you found something, and so beautiful! You looked stunning at your son's wedding. Your post reminded me if Lestan's was still around.

Thoughts on Life and Millinery. said...

Fabulous color! Oh how stunning you will look...the only one who will have a chance of outdoing you is, of course, the bride! Pefect, right?

Lovella ♥ said...

Oh Pat....simply beautiful! The color and the fabric and the detailing on the sides is all just wonderful.
Your silver accessories are perfect too.

LDH said...

Oh, I am so excited for you! It was an ordeal but from the sneak preview, I think it will be stunning! Can't wait for the special day!

Kim, USA said...

One thing for sure you look gorgeous in any color and dress you wear. ^_^

Kim,USA

Kris said...

Oh Pat, I feel your pain! I LOVE the dress you chose. Dress, shoes and bag...you hit the jackpot!!! Perfect!!!!! Phew!

Judy ~ My Front Porch said...

From what I can see...it's beautiful! I'm happy for you...that it is done. I remember the feeling of relief...when I found and purchased the perfect dress for my daughter's wedding.

I'm looking forward to getting the full picture...once the day has come and gone.

Mary said...

I'm so glad you were able to find something that pleased you. The color is wonderful and you are going to look gorgeous. I hope you have a great day. Blessings...Mary

ellen b. said...

The peeks I see are lovely indeed! Looks like we could get together after the weddings and have a nice coordinated photo! My dress is short, though. I'm glad you found it! I, too, did not lose the weight I was hoping to but I'm just going to embrace who I am right now and enjoy the dress fit and the day. I just keep saying that it's not about me and all eyes will be on the bride!!

SmilingSally said...

I wore the same navy gown to BOTH my daughter's and son's weddings. They were 6 months apart, and it was just the best way to handle that.

Your gown looks WONDERFUL, and I'm sure you will too.

Happy Blue Monday, Pat. Be sure to check out my book giveaway.

nanny said...

I am so happy you found the "right" dress. The color is just beautiful. Now you can relax (well maybe/hs) and enjoy the planning!

Yvette said...

Oooooh, love the color, Pat. With your red hair it will be beautiful. Love the look of the fabric too. Can't wait to see the photos of the festivities!

I haven't worn a dress in many MANY years so when my daughter got married, I stayed true to my own stubborness (she didn't mind) and wore a very nice pants suit of pink linen with a bit of beaded trim. I look at the pictures now and think, hey, I didn't look half bad.

I even wore 'princess' heels with a bit of beading as well (I'll never wear them again, so they languish in my closet.)Anyone less like a 'princess' you will never find - I had to admit I laughed when I heard that's what my cute, pink little heels were called. Ha!

Being a mother of the bride can be an enormous burden - but a happy one!

Claudia said...

I am so heartened by all the dresses you posted - I never wear dresses because department store dresses seem so horrid for women of "a certain age." But all of these are stunning! Love the color - cannot wait to see more. And now - you can rest a bit?

Happy@Home said...

I can imagine it is a relief to have found the dress ... and from this sneak preview I can tell it is beautiful. The color is so pretty and the silver accessories look perfect with it.
How fun to be looking forward to your daughter's wedding. Enjoy!

Ann said...

Pat the color is stunning. I especially love the silver sparkles on the dress. Can't wait to see it all together. Happy Blue Monday,.
Ann

Karen said...

Beautiful dress and the color is gorgeous. You will look stunning at the wedding! Can't wait to see the pictures of the wedding.
Karen
Ladybug Creek

ARLENE said...

My first comment didn't publish, so I'll try again. I loved the teal chiffon, but then read to the end and saw what you'd chosen. It's almost a match for the taffeta teal dress I wore to DSD's wedding in November. It had a bolero jacket which I kept on all night due to temperature, but it was very flattering. It had to be altered and I didn't like the built in bra which was higher than a regular bra, so I had to wear a push up. I concur the prices are way too much. I love the shoes and bag I bought, a glittery gunmetal gray and I wore my mom's vintage marcastie heart and some marcasite chandelier earrings. Can't wait to see your whole outfit.

pam said...

#1...you looked way too young at your son's wedding to be having a child old enough to get married....but you looked so beautiful.
#2.... I love the color of your new dress. I can't wait to see the after wedding pictures. No matter your size the joy of a mothers love will radiate to all who see you!
#3....you've opened my eyes to the challenge of finding that right dress. Glory....my girls aren't even dating and I'm taking deep breaths already. (c;

What an experience, this wedding prep stuff.

(Queenmothermamaw) Peggy said...

Wow do I ever know your predicament. 6 weddings to attend as the mother of...... I am so shortwaisted I always had to have too piece dresses. One of mine was Eggplant. It was my very favorite. When you find it you know. Good luck with all the preps.
QMM

Susie said...

Pat, You are not suppose to be prettier than the bride. You are going to be breathe taking. Wow . Smiles, Susie(She Junks)

Michelle said...

So glad to hear you found a dress! Can't wait to see it!

Pie Lady Pat said...

Fabulous color for you! Oh, my, what an ordeal! Makes me want to watch "Father of the Bride" again with Steve Martin!

Ocean Breezes and Country Sneezes said...

That color will look fantastic on you! It's also one of my favs!!!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

What a gorgeous color and beautiful accessories! You'll look gorgeous in this color, Pat! I love the photo of you in 2004...what a fabulous dress! You make a handsome couple! Enjoy this special time, my friend! ♥

Beverly said...

Congratulations for your yes to the dress find. The sneak peek is gorgeous, and I love the color. I know you must be relieved.

Mary Lee said...

Love your phrasing. . . YES TO THE DRESS!

YAY!

Oh my goodness, teal with your coloring? KNOCKOUT!

Beth said...

The color is spectacular! I look forward to seeing photos of you and the bride. You looked great in the photo from your son's wedding too!
God Bless, Beth

Cindy said...

It can be so hard to find the right dress that fits properly. That's why I have begun to sew for myself again.
I'm glad you found one that you are really happy about.
Hugs, Cindy

SavoringTime in the Kitchen said...

Congratulations finding a beautiful dress. The teal color should look beautiful on you!

black eyed susans kitchen said...

Pat, you are such a tease...now I want to see the entire dress! I love the color and the beadwork. You really went about this in such a sane way...my hunt for the mob outfit was filled with tension. I am so happy for you.
♥, Susan

Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs said...

Oh, Pat, it's BEAUTIFUL! I can't wait to see photos of you in it. What a crazy dress hunt you had to endure. Persistence wins out and it looks like you found the very most perfect one of all. Yes, true serendipity.

Annesphamily said...

Pretty, pretty pretty! The second photo down from your sons wedding is a dress I own, the navy dress on the left! Oh these were all gorgeous! I am glad you found the perfect dress! Pictures please from the wedding! Hugs Anne

steviewren said...

I can so sympathize with you. I had a terrible time finding a dress for my daughter's wedding. The one I wore wasn't a perfect fit, but everything worked out okay.

I'm happy that you found a dress you love and will feel great in. I love the color and bet it brings out the color of your eyes perfectly.

cassandrasminicorner said...

Beautiful mom, beautiful dress:)

Visiting for Blue Monday- hope you can stop by:)

http://www.sweetposh.info/2012/02/blue-super-baby-snowsuit.html

The Single Nester said...

I love the middle plum dress in the first trio. Just lovely. You will look terrific.

Gracie said...

I know you will be beautiful and radiant!

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

What a beautiful dress.